Viewing entries in
list

Boundaries & the art of saying no

Comment

Boundaries & the art of saying no

Boundaries & the art of saying no

(Aka The Murican word that we also need to learn to incorporate into our lives here in the North)

Beautiful clothing by Finnish company Vimma and photography by Jonna Monola

Today I felt the need to write about boundaries. How do we inforce healthy boundaries in our relationships (personal, work and romantic) and communicate them to other people wisely. It’s a thought-provoking topic and something I’ve at times personally struggled with. I am still learning to draw the line in certain areas of my life and unfortunately more too often than I’d like to admit, I have a tendency of being just a little too floppy which will result in me feeling drained.

Firstly, if you’re unfamiliar with the word ”boundary” or wording ”having boundaries”, what this refers to are your personal limits and guidelines (your rules so to speak) that you establish to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards you. It also refers to how you will respond when someone passes those limits. Think about them as your invisible fences you have around certain matters. These boundaries can involve how you want to be treated in a romantic relationship, how you wish to be treated at work or just with other people period. Your boundaries are not static and they are also constantly being shaped and created and tend to shift over time.

News flash: people cross our boundaries constantly.  What it basically means is that we are imperfect people living in an imperfect world with other imperfect fellow humans. Our boundaries will get crossed as at some point someone will do, say or ask for something that does not feel right to you. Despite the mundane nature of having boundaries, I had never heard of the expression before moving to Mexico and befriending a bunch of Americans/Canadians. It’s simply not a word that is used enough in our Scandinavian culture. Thus, I feel like it needs to be addressed more, hence today’s lil blog post. Because at the end of the day what it comes down to is having the balls/ovaries of saying no when we don’t feel like it. Why one might ask, well the truth is, people are sick and tired, and way too many people in our society burn out due to their boundaries being crossed over and over again. But this is not just in the world of biz, maybe you’ll notice it in your personal life or perhaps even in your romantic life. Just a tiny example is if when you feel obligated to for instance attend an event you don’t want to go to but you go anyways. What this comes down to is your lack of boundaries/ your lack of communicating them. As you start to see, your boundaries are part of your everyday life in many areas as they determine what works for you and what doesn’t.

Some argue that having healthy and clear boundaries has a dirrect correlation with your self-esteem. I agree to a certain extent, but I think it’s more complicated than that. It also has to do with self awareness, your communication skills and the idea of being a ”yes (wo)man” or plain simple, just being too darn nice. In the corporate world there might be a myriad of reasons why someone is allowing the workload to keep piling up. Perhaps the person is afraid of losing their job, perhaps they are hoping for a promotion etc. The thing is, it’s not just black and white.

So how do we create healthy, reasonable boundaries? Good question. I am no master as I honestly like I mentioned, still battle with this myself, but, I have gathered a few tricks and tips under my belt. Below shared:

1. Gain clarity and learn to check in with yourself. Watch your emotions, feelings, energy level, mood, thoughts. If you’re feeling exhausted or drained, the odds are something is sucking the life out of you. If you notice yourself feeling resentment towards someone or something, most likely you need to change something. Recap of step one: become aware.

2. When you’ve pin pointed a situation where you’re unhappy or feel like someone is taking advantage of you or doing anything else that triggers you, mark it mentally. Figure out what, exactly, you're comfortable with and what you aren't. Step two is about learning about and setting your limits.

3. Make self care your priority. I’ve said this before, but the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself. Put yourself first. For realz. Step three is taking your power back and wanting to change things.

new_blog_post.jpeg

4. Communication (surpise surprise!). Once you get clear on what matters most to you, then you can take the bigger step of communicating this to others. As hard as it is, you’ll have to verbalize where you stand and perhaps even break it down for others to understand where you’re coming from. Be direct. Like we’ve seen on Pinterest and the gram, growth (and sometimes change!) happen outside of the comfort zone. Step four in a nutshell: take action.

5. Baby steps. Just like with learning any new skill, it takes practice and courage. Start small and be assertive when communicating what you’re okay with and what not. Step five is a reminder of how you can be strict, yet soft at the same time.

6. Reach out. Sometimes we need a lil push/kick or enouragement from our peers, friends or fam. Talk to them about your feels and perhaps you’ll gain some new insight or another perspective around your issue. At the end of the day, we are all different and how we perceive the world is our reality. By changing perspective, your whole situation might change. Step six is a reminder that you’re not alone, ask for help.

eva_estlander_vimma_company.jpeg

What’s important to understand is that everyone has their own set of boundaries and we are all responsible for holding them and also sensing and respecting other people’s boundaries. As I am typing this I am also realizing how nuanced this topic is and how it actually affets all areas of our lives constantly. We have boundaries in all areas of life: emotional, career, relationship, physical, sexual and the list goes on. Like with all things in life, it takes some time for your patterns of boundaries to develop, and it may take some time to relearn and practice something differently, consistency is key. 

Now, I’d love to hear from you. How do you communicate your boundaries without upsetting someone? Do you struggle with this issue? Do you find it easier to have clear boundaries in some areas of your life, but in others not so much?




With love and healthy boundaries,

Eva

Comment

Get to know the girl behind the screen // 15 random facts you (probably) didn't know about me

Get to know the girl behind the screen // 15 random facts you (probably) didn't know about me

15 facts you (probably) didn’t know about me

and didn’t care about in the first place…

Or maybe you do or did. Either way, I recently saw a post on my insta feed of my good friend and talented photographer, Jessica, where she posted a list of funny things about herself as an introduction. This inspired me to do the same, so without further ado, I decided to give it a whirl.

Proof of me juggling, well kind of. Pic: Jess Leigh

Proof of me juggling, well kind of. Pic: Jess Leigh

  1. I’m Finnish Swedish

    I am from Helsinki, Finland and a part of the 6 % minority of Swedish speaking Finns – I speak Swedish with my dad, Finnish with my mom. In addition to these two native tongues, as I lived in Sayulita, Mexico for nearly 7 years; I learned Spanish, I also understand French semi-fluently and well, English is a given. Another randomness for good measure: I lived in Bali, Indonesia, during my studies and during that time I could understand Bahasa Indonesia pretty decently (today, not so much, I only remember Terimakasahi).

  2. In addition to yoga… I also like the gym, cute surfable waves, swimming, short runs (not marathons), long walks on the beach and berry picking (does that count as a sport?).

  3. My favorite TV shows include…

    Game of Thrones (duh) and The Office. Actually, if you’re in a dark place in your life or need any anti depressant, try watching a couple seasons of The Office and I can assure you, you’ll be in a better place.

  4. I am highly sensitive and perceptive and have razor sharp intuition. I usually get a pretty good feel on wether people and situations can be trusted. That being said, there’s definitely also been some misjudgment and I’ve been burnt a handful of times.

  5. I know how to juggle.

    Only with three balls tho. Still pretty cool if I may say so myself.

  6. I love to paint and draw!

    I usually paint naked women and eyes. Why? Go figure.

  7. I have a Master’s degree in Science (Economics)

    Yup, I graduated from the Swedish School of Economics (Hanken) in Helsinki and I studied Marketing as my major, my minor was Spanish and Business Mgmt & Organization. I wrote my thesis about wellness tourism (no surprise there).

  8. I’m currently working on or working with…

    Event production (day job), various collaboration projects including the podcast I co-host, a yoga retreat in Mexico, corporate yoga classes, revamping our summer cabin by the sea and a secret super cool project that will be launched later this year (stay tuned, will ya).

  9. I’m not allergic to anything (as far as I know)….

    And my plan is to keep it this way. I’ve never been tested tho (well I don’t remember at least).

  10. A lion once wanted to eat me as a snack.

    True story. We were in Zimbabwe on a safari, luckily my mom’s friend pulled my down a cliff and there was a feeble fence in between.

  11. I’ve been stung by a scorpion

    And it hurt like a mother*** Seriously, worst pain I’ve ever felt. Imagine neuro toxin running through your body in waves and not being able to breath simultaneously. Ouch.

  12. I am a cat and a dog person and my cat got eaten by a python.

    And yes, you can be both a cat and a dog person. And yes, my cat got eaten by a python in Mexico. I know. It’s pretty dark.

  13. My favorite color is…

    purple, lavender, lilac, magneta, violet, plum. You get it.

  14. My favorite flower is…

    THE SUNFLOWER. GIMME. I love the Spanish name “Girasol” the one who turns towards the sun.

  15. I love warm water.

    The ocean or a hot tub, I’m there.

Warm water, yes please. Pic: Jenn Farmer

Warm water, yes please. Pic: Jenn Farmer



K, that’s all for now.



Love,

Evita

10 ways to use tech for your wellbeing

Comment

10 ways to use tech for your wellbeing

Greetings dear reader,

Nice that you found your way here, if you’re a frequent reader, I am glad that I didn’t scare you off 😂😱 with my most recent blog text, which certainly was written from a place of fire. I think it’s fair to say I have some frustration around being judged for sharing my love for yoga and it showed in my latest post. Perhaps it should go on my own list of “things to work on” and what can I say, I’m simply a passionate opinionated yogini and sometimes I let the sharpness pour into my writing and my blog is a way to funnel it. Either way, no matter if you’re a new or old reader, I am glad that you’re reading my scribbles and today’s post definitely has a softer tone 💛, think unicorns, cotton candy, daisies and marshmallows 🦄🌸 🍭 (sorry I took it too far there).

Okay dokay, well today I want to touch on a topic that might interest our tech and gadget loving humans: how to use tech for your wellbeing. The digital revolution is here and as it seems, it’s here to stay. Every industry is getting digitalized and unless you’re jumping on the bandwagon, you’re basically gonna struggle, or worse, not make it. This is also true for the wellness industry and there’s already a bunch of apps and gadgets out there that you can use to improve, measure and enhance your overall wellness. YAY. It’s also true for us yoga teachers as many of us use for instance the gram, blogging and vlogging as a way to reach more people.

eva albus gone girl 3.jpeg

I personally think it’s pretty dang nice that there’s a bunch of trinkets out there we can now use to actually measure and get data from. One of the coolest aspects about even the wellness industry getting digitalized is that now that there’s actually data and proof that displays the benefits, it makes more sense to invest in your wellbeing. And this again means, that the digitalization of wellness can serve a gateway to reach people who perhaps normally wouldn’t be interested in mindfulness, yoga or wellbeing in a holistic way. All around ah-mazing.

Alrighty then, so there’s a broad range of variety out there in terms of what you can actually measure, use and do for your wellness, but I decided to gather some of the most well known tools and apps and then also a few random ones that I know of. I personally use the Apple Watch and let’s just say I’m more or less in love with it. It gives me data on my workout goals, reminds me to breathe (I mean deep breaths and breaks) and is awesome for switching music during yoga classes (I don’t have to use my phone). Here we go:

  1. The Apple Watch

    Like I mentioned above, I use the Apple Watch for reaching my workout goals, reminders to take breaks to breathe, to measure how many steps I’ve taken per day, to change and adjust music during yoga classes and so much more more. Oh, and it’s also eye pleasing with its sleek black amazingness.

  2. The Garmin Smart Watches

    Similarly to the Apple Watch, Garmin has also launched a line of their own smart watches that you can use for comparable purposes as the Apple Watch. These smart little devices are also eye pleasing and they help you track your activity, then save, plan and share your progress with others.

  3. Yogaia App & Website

    Live and interactive yoga classes from anywhere. They have over 100 classes every week and a broad range of teachers and different classes. The cool thing is that you can actually turn your camera on and get live tips, feedback and cues from the teacher in real time.

  4. Yogobe

    Take your practice with you anywhere at any time. This useful app and website enables you to basically practice anywhere at any time. All you need is your app and a connection to the world wide web. One of my teachers, Satu Tuomela, whom I did my first Yoga TT with has several of her classes on this site.

  5. Neurosonic therapy lounge divan

    This is a new stress relief method developed in Finland that works through low frequency vibrations. There are three different programs you can choose from: recovery, relaxation and activation. It works kind of like a massage chair, but through vibrations, which are directed throughout the whole body. It has proven to be an astonishingly efficient method of recovery and there’s data on its efficiency. We happen to have one at our office, and it’s pretty damn stellar!!!

  6. Yoga 15

    Yoga 15 is an rad app thats message is pretty simple: EVERYONE has time to do a 15 min workout or stretching session every damn day! I met the beautiful founder and yogini Abi when I lived in Mexico and I remember how passionate she was about her work and app. She’s definitely gone along way and continues to share the love for the ancient practice in a modern way reaching both men, women, yogis, cyclers, runners and other sportsmen and -women! You go girl! PS. She also happens to have a gorgeous instagram feed.

  7. Headspace

    Unless you’ve lived under a rock, surely you’ve heard of headspace!? I’m KIDDING, no, but this app is pretty darn fantastic and so wonderful for taking up meditation as a practice. They have hundreds of themed sessions on everything from stress and sleep to focus and anxiety My good amiga Lucy (who normally perhaps isn’t that into yoga or the wellness hype) swears on this lovely app. Love you mama.

  8. Period Trackers: Flo, M. Cycles or Clue

    YESSSS and yes yes yes. These apps are making life so much easier! Now you can use an app to track your “safe days”, ovulation and expected period. The apps will also give you insights throughout the month about how your body is working at specific times. It’s particularly good for those looking to be able to plan around their periods, perhaps if they're booking a holiday and would prefer not to be on, or for those looking to get pregnant. If you’re already expecting, there’s also an excellent app to track the pregnancy throughout its different stages.

  9. Strava

    This one is for the ones who love to run and cycle! Strava is already one of the most popular activity-tracking smartphone apps out there and I use this as well. You can also use it on your Apple Watch, that adds to the convenience of recording movement from your wrist, so you can leave you phone at home.

  10. The Moon

    This one goes out for moonchildren out there. This app is great for checking the moon phases as you can view the current phase of the moon, see the moon on the day you were born, share the moon with your friends, get notifications for upcoming moon events.

In addition to these, there’s actually an app that can track your dirty mouth and scold you for cussing and help you stop swearing. Obviously there’s ALOT of apps, tools and widgets out there and another topic I didn’t touch on is wellness related podcasts and inspiring instagram accounts to follow (later in life) but if you know of any other cool or useful ones, I’d love to learn more so please, do feel free to comment below.

An Apple Watch, Buddha, Zafiro jewelry, singing bowls and candles. What else do you need?

An Apple Watch, Buddha, Zafiro jewelry, singing bowls and candles. What else do you need?

Alrighty then, let’s all now be tech-savvy wellbeing badasses and have a happy EASTER 🐣!!!

That’s all for now. Go eat them chocolate eggs.

Con amor,

Evita

Comment

Why the F do I blog, but perhaps you should too?

Comment

Why the F do I blog, but perhaps you should too?

Greetings dear readers,

Welcome to my world. Well, at least a glimpse of it. I started blogging (again) after a loooong break. Ever since I started writing again some people in my circle have been curious and reached out to me and asked me why the hell I blog. This actually made me stop for a second and ponder around the same question and fair enough as curiosity never killed the cat (or did it?), I decided to open up around the question; WHY THE F DO I BLOG. Ladies and gents, lemme tell ya why:

First and foremost I actually enjoy writing. It’s a way for me to express and share my thoughts, passions, interests and ideas within my community and even perhaps beyond it. It feels really really good and empowering to put it down on a piece of paper (even if it’s in a virtual form). Interestingly enough writing is actually something that runs in my family as my mama used to be a writer and worked within communication until she finally retired this year. So it’s a way to communicate with you guys (ahum, if you’re actually reading this comments are more than encouraged).

Secondly, I feel like it’s extremely therapeutic and I gain a lot of insight and clarity on how I actually think and feel about certain things or whatever it is that I am writing about, it simply helps me make sense of things. In addition to this, I feel like it’s making me commit to a practice or habit and teaches me to build discipline (self work, duh!). I also feel like it is helping me become more analytical and a better thinker as I actually really think about the stuff I put out on the world wide web (aka my brain is getting more functional 🧠).

I also feel like it is helping me grow as a person as I am putting myself and my thoughts out there and building my personal brand and showcasing my world views and passions. That being said, I often worry and think “oh my gosh will they judge me, what will they think” etc etc BUT then I just remind myself that the thing is, I’d rather be judged than do shit and actually judgement says way more about the person judging than the person being judged (boom mathafakaaaas). Oh, and did I mention it’s the bomb for marketing and SEO? Yea, so I guess you should start now too (if you’re in the biz world)! In a nutshell I gathered all my reasons here below:

  1. I enjoy it + runs in the fam

  2. I get to express myself, my views, thoughts, ideas and beliefs

  3. Great way to connect with my community and beyond

  4. It challenges me and puts me out of my comfort zone + empowers me

  5. It makes me more analytical and inspires me read and dig more into the topics that interest me or the things I wanna discuss

  6. It’s therapeutic

  7. It gives me clarity and insight about how I feel and what I think

  8. Personal brand development

  9. It’s the shit for marketing & SEO

  10. It’s making me grow as a person (self development)

If you also happen to enjoy writing, it’s perhaps time you should give it a go as well?

Vamos.

Con amor y cariño,

Evita

Up close and personal.

Up close and personal.

Comment